The power of understanding things
Digging to the core
I love writing so much because each new day is yet another chance to dig more deeply (a process from which I derive profound fulfillment), and my, oh my, does it take more than a few weeks to excavate this shit.
Quite recently—it was actually the day I went fishing with my buddies—I realized it is one of my missions to “save the planet.” And it’s not really to save the planet, but to ensure it remains in good health, especially the ocean (because I love the ocean for some reason), so that I and future generations may continue to thrive in what it offers.
I really don’t know what life would be all about if there were no nature.
If you look at where most of the world’s problems came from, you’d see it was from the places and people most far removed from the natural world. For us to think we’ll be able to colonize another planet, at least soon, is but an ignorant, shortsighted, egotistical fallacy.
In addition to the fact that the natural beauty of the world is irreplaceable, its processes are incredibly intricate, and we, humans, are woven into its rhythms and nuances . . . To replicate these processes in a sustainable way would be a feat as profound as—if not more than—time travel.
Humans will have to remain on earth for a good long time, and if we want to persist, and especially if we want to thrive, we must ensure these natural systems remain in place and thrive themselves.
I don’t know, I really just love nature. I always have, and I always will. It brings a peace and degree of invigoration that I hardly get anywhere else.
I am still bound to an apartment. And other certain things . . . And as I’ve said before, it is this sense of being bound, the fact that I have to be in certain places at certain times, that my life loses that sense of adventure and carefree spirit that children walk with.
It’s interesting . . . I really do think this is it (“it” being the key to a good life). And I see now more than ever, on a very personal level, why the Founding Fathers so sought to make this country free.
Because it is a freedom that every soul craves deeply. We are not merely depressed or anxious; we are enslaved. And it’s not so obvious to the eye because there are no chains, nor guns aimed upon us . . .
This enslavement is sensual. We are a country of addicts who hold these beliefs of necessity—that we need certain things in order to be happy or acceptable—and so tie ourselves down in every way imaginable (emphasis on the imaginable).
It often feels like I’m not writing to say something but to pour out my heart on the page, to excavate what’s within, order it, and make sense of it.
But what’s within? I don’t know. Is there really all that much to write about if there’s not all that much disorder?
It is true that those who grow up well and happy don’t often go on to do cool things. It’s not because they’re incapable but because those who do go on to do cool things often do so to justify their existence. And people who grow up well and happy don’t feel the need to do such a thing.
And I guess that’s outwardly a shame because it means we must suffer in order to be great . . . Which makes you wonder how great it is to be great. But it is also good to suffer because we must know the dark to know the light.
And this isn’t so black and white a thing because some people who suffer become very traumatized and actually have permanent scars, rendering them less capable or more vulnerable in a certain way for the rest of their lives. And, so too, there are people who haven’t suffered, who grew up in a good family, who are indeed very resilient because they’ve been loved so well, and are backed by this endless energy that many others haven’t felt.
You know, there really is an ignorance to not moving around. If you don’t see the world, you won’t see yourself.
Our surroundings reflect what’s within, and they also shape what’s within.
I very much want to dig to the core of things. I want to know things for what they are, not how they appear. So much is missed by people every single day. We really do struggle to know things for what they actually are.
I think that’s often what makes me anxious—not understanding why everything that’s going on is going on.
Think about that, actually.
Have you ever not understood something for so long and been anxious because you didn’t understand it—like why someone cheated on you or why you were fired—and then, once you understood it, relinquished a great deal of anxiety?
Perhaps history books could cure our anxiety!
This is indeed a deep human need. We want to know why things happen. Not just because we’re control freaks but because understanding connects us to things.
And because we lack so much focus these days, we can’t concentrate enough on certain things for long enough to get to the core.
And most people, because they lack the focus and, really, the amount of free time it takes to focus on one thing before getting to the heart of it, prefer to oversimplify things, passing over the truth for convenience.
And so, I think many do, deep down, know that they don’t know and are so anxious because of it . . . And there are also many who are so blatantly ignorant that they’re content not knowing the truth, and so, ignorantly blissful, come to fuck the lives of those around them.
And wow, this is perfectly full circle because I put a note in my memos yesterday that says by uplifting yourself, you uplift those around you. And it’s not just necessarily that by making more money, or something, you can quite literally provide for others, but that by uplifting yourself and constantly being in good spirits—that is, truly good spirits, not ignorant alcoholic spirits—you give hope to those around you.
It is this spirit of hope that people most often need, almost more than food itself.
And the only reason I say this is because when, for example, I get off the phone with someone I love, and I can tell they are not doing so well, it affects me because I care about them. And when I can tell they are doing well, it also affects me, in an uplifting way.
And so, when you find a way to be in good spirits always, which I’ve heard is a very wise thing, you incrementally put those around you in good spirits.