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The 7 "habits" that help men fend off suffering
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The 7 "habits" that help men fend off suffering

Lessons from my quarter-life crisis

Ryan Barry
Jun 27, 2025
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The 7 "habits" that help men fend off suffering
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It’s come to my attention recently that while there is probably something uniquely wrong with each and every one of us—to varying degrees, of course—it is quite simply difficult to live a crappy life and feel like a crappy person (setting aside life’s random tragedies) if one has a certain list of things in check . . .

I’ve been on what has come to be known these days as a “self-discovery” journey since I was about 18 years old, throughout which, having gone wrong in many different ways, I’ve grown painfully aware of those few “habits” that I am near-destined to suffer without.

And so I feel compelled, for you guys and for my future self to reference (as I’m starting to build out some products), to post what I think is a list of essential/foundational habits upon which one can cultivate an objectively good life. Because I think it is incredibly easy for young people to go wrong, seeing there are so many different things we can do with our time (and so many different voices guiding us all over the place) and so few ways to go right . . .

Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

I’m not claiming to have it all figured out, nor that I’m any sort of authority on the matter, nor that making mistakes isn’t the nature of one’s teens and 20’s . . . I am saying that I have learned, as noted above, that the good path is straight and narrow, after observing both in my own life and in the lives of those I look up to, an unwavering and short list of undeniably beneficial habits without which one’s life may start to deteriorate.

I’ll be speaking directly to men here, because I myself just so happen to be a man, and though I’m sure many of these apply to women, I’m not entirely sure their list would be exactly identical.

Nevertheless, let’s begin.

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